If you ever wanted to know what a billion dollars looks like, it is on display in the Fifty Shades franchise. That is the amount the first two films have made at the box office with the third and final chapter still yet to come. What this teaches us is to never underestimate the power of a fan base as they can take something they love to heights that others wouldn’t believe. I do not count myself among the fans of this series, while the first film had some watchable moments, mainly Dakota Johnson’s performance, the second film was truly forgettable.
Picking up after the end of Fifty Shades Darker, we see Anastasia (Dakota Johnson) and Christian (Jamie Dornan) getting married. Wanting to do what married couples do, they board a private jet for a honeymoon to Europe in order to live it up. Ok well that’s not what happens after every wedding, but this is the Grey’s and boy do they have a life. Anastasia soon is settling into her new life where she has to make dinner menus and choose decorations all while trying to get back to her life and her old job. Christian though just wants to give Anastasia the world and of course control her both in and out of the bedroom. Everything is not coming up roses though for the new power couple as Christian’s past is coming back to haunt him as someone who both Anastasia and Christian know wants some revenge and he won’t stop until he gets some.
Sitting and waiting for this film to begin I could feel the excitement and anticipation from the audience, just none of that was coming from me. Instead I had a feeling of dread, thinking that I had to watch one more of these, something I was not looking forward to after Fifty Shades Darker. The good news is it didn’t let me down as writer Niall Leonard delivers a movie with no real story whatsoever. Sure there are lots of pretty things to look at as the first half of the film feels like a modern episode of “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous”, but without the mono tones of Robin Leach.
Once you get past the eye candy there is little substance as even when the film gets into darker territory the sun doesn’t stay gone long in the Grey’s life. It’s not all doom and gloom though as like with the previous film both the soundtrack and Johnson’s performance are good, it’s just everything else is soo bad. I don’t know if I can blame the performers, although a cardboard cutout would have been just as good as Dornan, just not as good to look at. They definitely saved the worst for last and for non-fans like myself this one will be tough to get through. But hey, they didn’t make it for us, they made it for the people who already made this a billion-dollar franchise and for them, the Grey’s will see you now.
